Compliments from the dentist guide
March 2025
Ever have an errand or an appointment you really don’t feel like doing? We’ve been there. Whether it’s the monotony, the inconvenience, or the physical discomfort, some tasks feel like they were designed to test our patience. To help you drag yourself out of bed in the morning to sit in a waiting chair for god knows how long, we have come up with six themed outfits for some of the worst tasks imaginable.
First and foremost let’s talk about The Dentist Visit. Obviously, no one likes those little poker tools in their mouths at a traditional cleaning, but have you ever had your teeth whitened? Because why is no one talking about how annoying and painful it is? Then, we have a bone to pick (pun intended) with The Annual Physical. No one wants to be reminded of all the ways they are “below average” or overthink about how the doctor is going to add a certain number of drinks per week to whatever amount we give them. Don’t get us started on The DMV Appointment. Recently, we had to go in to get a new Drivers License and who would have thought that a tax form from the IRS doesn't count as proof of address? Thinking about money is always stressful, but nothing has us down as bad as The Bank Withdrawal. Who wants to take money from their account to pay boring things like utilities or a broker’s fee when we could have been spending it on weird coffee drinks or unnecessary beauty products? Also, why do they make returning things such a process? The Package Drop Off could be a thousand times more efficient. Why are most shipping centers only open from 9:00-5:00:? They must know that means everyone either has to go during their lunch break or after they get out of work. Finally, we come to the ultimate time suck, The Jury Duty summons. You better hope if you are selected that you don't have one of those true crime junkies in your group or you’ll be sitting there for days while they play out their courthouse drama fantasy at your expense.
While nothing can make these errands seem fun, you can at least look good while doing them. See how we’re fishing for compliments from our dentist at this month’s cleaning and more below!
The Dentist visit
Strongly disliking the dentist is an understatement. The tools they use still look like medieval torture devices, and, call us crazy, but making small talk while a stranger’s hands are in our mouths isn’t exactly our idea of a good time. The only things that can make this visit a tad more bearable are finding out you don’t need to come back to fill a cavity and getting a compliment on your outfit from your dentist. At our next exam, we decided to give a little nod to the people who chose this odd career path for some reason. We’re going with a blue pinstripe denim cargo jacket on top and blue striped jeans on the bottom. It’s all the comfort and ease of wearing scrubs but cooler. Then, we’re adding some Speedcat ballet flats and a sequin crochet skull cap for a touch of whimsy to counter the clinical setting. We’ll finish off the look with dark sunglasses, so you don’t have to wear the scratched yellow Wayfarers the dental hygienist tries to make you put on, and a grill ring for a subtle teeth-themed accessory. While you were going to walk out of this appointment with a dazzling smile no matter what, a compliment on this outfit might add a touch of authenticity to it.
The Annual Physical
We’ve all heard the rhyme, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” and how we wish now, more than ever, that were true. Fruit and veggie propaganda is nothing new, but this time, we’re using it to our advantage. We’re basing this whole outfit around the “Eat Your Veggies” graphic tee in hopes it’s enough to trick our doctor into forgetting to ask us about our current drinking habits or that new drunken tattoo we got a couple of months ago. The beige and blue striped trousers are comfy enough to endure the ridiculous amount of time spent in the waiting room but structured enough to maintain your dignity after wearing an open-back medical gown. For shoes, we’re going with some classy ballet flats to glide between the exam rooms like the perfectly balanced and graceful individual you want them to believe you are. We’re completing the look with a practical yellow marbled hair claw clip, gold earrings to elevate the look, and a large suede hobo bag to fit the ample amount of snacks you’ll need after fasting all day in preparation for blood work. While inside you may be a general practitioner’s worst nightmare, on the outside, you’ll look like the poster girl for good decision-making.
The DMV Appointment
The DMV is what we imagine purgatory is like. Sitting around waiting, as if some higher power is testing to see if the unnecessary bureaucracy is enough to make you snap. Then, when you finally manage to solve the riddle of what personal documentation you need, you’re rewarded with a low-quality, unflattering ID photo that will have to be presented to every bar and airport employee you come across for the next 10 years. To make this whole process a bit more exciting, we came up with an outfit fit for the F1 racetracks rather than a plastic waiting room chair. Of course, we’re starting with a moto jacket - but make it lowkey, because we don’t actually need to be wearing neon green in an all-grey government building. Pair this with a simple black tee and beige work pants to really let the jacket shine. Accessorize with some thick silver hoops that can hopefully distract from your half-blink in the final photo, and some low-top grey sneakers to balance the whole outfit. Top it off with a checkered shoulder bag that gives a little nod to a checkered racing flag, presenting at least the illusion of urgency. Who knows? Maybe this outfit is enough to convince the clerk to retake your picture!
The Bank Withdrawal
No one likes taking money out of their account - the number in your checking account decreasing is a serious day-ruiner. The only way to make yourself feel better is to pretend you're stealing other people’s money. This outfit is bank robber core. The main pieces of this look are a black nylon hooded jacket and some black parachute pants. When robbing a bank, mobility and stealth are of the utmost importance. Add a black beanie on top, extra points if you cut out eye holes for a full-face mask situation, and some black sports-style sneakers in case of an on-foot pursuit. Bring a large black tote to fit all the money in, and add an oversized stud earring to show this isn’t your first heist. Now, don’t forget to assemble the perfect crew and watch out for the dye packs!
The package drop off
Nothing messes up your day like needing to ship out a return or send a package to a needy relative. If you work a traditional 9-to-5 job, you know that the long lines during your lunch break or after work are just the cherry on top of an already annoying workday. Also, are we the only people who don’t understand how stamps work? The only way to avoid the long lines is to go on your Saturday (blah) but at least we came up with a fun outfit to take you from the post office to your brunch plans. Starting off, we’re putting on a brown striped button-up and some oversized brown cargo shorts to pay homage to the UPS uniform. We love big shorts with lots of pockets - they’re practical for holding all your other items so you can focus on carrying your oversized package without dropping it. Add a cropped white tank underneath for a layered moment, some glasses to help you navigate the small print on the shipping labels, a brown satchel to carry the mountain of letters you need to send, and some brown loafers to pull the whole outfit together. Voila! You have the perfect look to convince the stranger behind you to hold your heavy boxes while you wait in line together.
Elwood Clothing
Dear Frances
The Jury duty
Jury duty is not like the courtroom dramas you love to binge. It’s a time-sucking, tedious process that will have you swearing off Suits and Law and Order reruns for good. While, of course, it’s an important part of our civic duty and whatnot, we’re still allowed to complain about it. We all know there’s a specific dress code required to be in a courtroom, but having to button up doesn’t mean you can’t still dress. For our cleanest tailored look, we’re wearing a fitted white button-up that’s appropriate but doesn’t take away all our curves, paired with grey checkered trousers for a little visual interest. Layer with a black cashmere fitted sweater because Gwyneth Paltrow had the right idea with her quiet luxury aesthetic during her court case last year. Add a white belt for a fun contrast to the darker tones in the rest of the outfit and a black tie to show you mean business. Then, have a little fun with your footwear by opting for cool, comfortable black mules rather than tight, blister-producing loafers or heels. Who knows? Maybe this outfit could even help you meet a nice lawyer (or an alleged criminal, if that’s more your speed).
